I won't ever pretend to know what it means to "feel" the emptiness of suicidal thought and deed. I have felt depression and the accompanying unknowing pain of lost direction and purpose in my life. I have spent the past few days contemplating what drives someone to the edge and then over it.
Suicide and the decision to commit is an all too common exit for several people who have I believe painted themselves into a corner and are tired of waiting for the metaphorical "paint to dry". With the recent passing of people like Robin Williams and most recently Chris Cornell of Soundgarden we have to ask ourselves - "what pushes someone so apparently happy and content to such an absolute abyss as this?"
Suicide as I've witnessed first hand is not an effort in seeking permission or acknowledgement of others - in many ways it is in some ways a human being's way of taking back what little control they may still have albeit small; of a life or lifestyle that has overcome them.
I'm sure Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley, Scott Weiland and Andrew Wood and most recently Chris Cornell never wished to be so mainstream that their flannel and combat boots, cargo shorts and long scraggly hair would be auctioned to the highest bidder and lost within our mass manicured suburbia. I think what has driven these men to hit the "stop" button was a spiraling journey into "mainstream" culture that moved vehemently against their ethics and code. No white picket fence. No trophy wife. No designer clothing and sunglasses. No mansion in Beverly Hills.
If you look at all these individuals collectively, there is a common thread of consumerism and a similar opposition to it. If you look at Cornell, the hanging precluded by anti - anxiety medication; taking too many Ativan. What symptoms are well addressing here ? the anxiety; and why ? The anxiety I believe is built upon going against your moral compass in exchange for the monetary pleasantries of stardom. What is the true price of stardom ? Being hobbled in a new town each night; living out of a hotel away from your family ? plying your trade to new audiences each night like a never ending carousel cabaret act. I'm sorry to say folks, if you think this isn't an accurate portrayal ? You may be sadly mistaken.
In the truest form of the "grunge" scene to not contribute to the ills of society the men listed above though try as they might not to feed the beast and open the box of Pandora - inevitably did and they too fell victim. Suicide is depression related - because it is someone losing control over what is most meaningful to them; but never lose sight - it is them in once last attempt to say and acknowledge this is my destiny and I oppose it - in some cases there is an apology and in others not.
As we've heard too many times before. I'd rather burn out - than fade away. There is much truth in this and sometimes more than we will ever know.
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Since the redevelopment of my site much has changed.
I'm excited to announce the long awaited arrival and successful launch of the online store front. Now, yes finally - you can search those albums and purchase those images you've seen on Facebook till now.
Images are available in time for the holidays and also in time for next years Muddy Roots Music Festival 2017 "the Homecoming". The goal is to have all the images back to Muddy Roots 2012 posted for you by January 01, 2017.
You can get digital downloads of any posted item for a reasonable $25.00. With digital downloads you have the image available for multiple downloads in case you lose it. Also please find the B & W button when searching albums. This button will enable you to view a black and white version of the images just in case you want something "dialed down" and less colorful.
Printed posters are available too and can be shipped to your door in a range of sizes from 8x12 to 24x36 inches. Once it arrives, just buy a frame locally or better yet make your own and you're in business. Be sure to send a pic to the Facebook page to show it on display.
Lastly are the highly sought after and rare Aluminum metal prints. These are the dream art conversation piece and will be surely the focal point of any room.
I'd like to send out a special thank you to all the new customers who have placed initial orders and would invite you to stop buy and see the store as it fills up daily with more product.
Don't forget to also check under the MUSIC tab in the Red Navigation bar for the "Newsstand" and many other goodies that I've strategically planted in the site to keep your minds focused on the music and the photography.
Thanks again for all your support friends,